Shoe statue in Tikrit, Iraq
Jabalpur. 28 April 2009.
Fed up of recent shoe-throwing incidents at his last three election rallies, Minister of State for Leather Industry, Balwant Kelkar, today started his Jabalpur rally by throwing a few shoes himself. Unsuspecting supporters of Kelkar were in for a shock as he followed his garlanding with throwing five-rounds of shoes, hitting his random target three times.
An emotionally charged minister later admitted that it was a fully planned move as “I wanted to make it clear first-up that I am no sissy like Chidambram, Manmohan, Advani or Yeddyurappa. I wanted to tell that if you throw one, I have my bag full.” He added that his “good aims” were not a fluke and he had “practised religiously” for the last few days.
Lallan Srivastava, one of the unfortunate hit by Kelkar’s shoe threatened to move court against the minister, though he didn’t rule out “getting even at the next rally in Bhopal.” Sources confirm that shoe-throwing rackets have cropped up all over country, promising ‘Professional Shoe-throwers’ at affordable rates.
The future is here
Meanwhile, sports accessory giant NIKE has launched its new line of easy-to-throw ‘Zed-Ee’ (in a cryptic tribute to Bush shoe-thrower) range of shoes. Priced at $1,o00 a pair, they promise a good reward money in return, if you hit somebody important. Also, with this, NIKE has announced a change in its tagline from ‘Just Do It’ to ‘Just Throw It’.
5 Comments
April 28, 2009 at 8:30 pm
You, sir, are on a roll… keep em coming!
April 29, 2009 at 11:26 am
Shhh … don’t tell anyone, the downturn has forced shoe companies to innovate. Call it subliminal marketing or that shoe cos are foot-in-shoe (a la hand-in-glove) with politicians. Win-win here since the politicians need surrogate advertising for the elections as well.
April 29, 2009 at 2:59 pm
@Animesh
Will try my best to keep ‘em coming. You have been one of the vocal supporters of this idea and also a reason for this off-late consistency. Thanks!
@Sunil
Haa haa…you got it right there. Anything’s possible when the biggest ’slippers’ of the world go on their election pad-yaatra!
April 29, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Varun,
I have a great business idea for shoe companies that can double their revenue with just a little repackaging.
Here goes …
MY BIG IDEA!
Shoe companies should package each shoe separately (and not in pairs) targetted at the emerging shoe-throwing segment.
1. This will open up new segments – shoe catchers, shoe matchers, shoe collectors – and also possibly inspire the fashion designers to come up with ‘walk the ramp with one shoe’ shows.
2. The idea-starved event management companies can then replicate this for re-use in the ‘Great Indian Wedding’ (of course this is rather seasonal unless they plan to go global).
3. Politicians and other public figures (beneficiaries of the new model) will be able to make early requests for which foot (not in the mouth variety) they prefer to be thrown. Eg. Left shoe is better ’shoe’-ted for Karat and co. It will also make it easier to switch loyalties – just exchange shoes!
What do you think?
April 29, 2009 at 7:43 pm
[...] sure we’ll see other countires following ’shoe’t very soon. Read the spoof here Frustrated minister throws shoes at public « The Daily Tamasha. Fed up of recent shoe-throwing incidents at his last three election rallies, Minister of State for [...]