Raj Thakarey signs 5-film deal with Bhojpuri filmmaker

Kishanlal Tiwari

Mumbai. 3 February 2005.

In a strange turn of events, just a day after his supporters beat up North-Indian taxiwaalas for sporting posters of Sonali Bendre on the taxi’s inside walls (in addition to being North-Indians), Raj Thakarey signed a 5-Bhojpuri-film-deal with Kishanlal Tiwari, a prominent producer-director-lightboy from the bhaiyya-land.

It is learned that Tiwari was highly impressed by Thakarey’s strong-man image and his dialogue delivery (ironically berating Big B in a function), two of the key components for any Bhojpuri superstar. “Raj’s characteristic tilak and his acidic quotes will make him an overnight success in Baliya and Giridih alike, and will also improve the UP-Maharashtra relations in these icy times”, hopes ‘Kishu’, as the acclaimed director’s wife calls him when nobody’s listening.

Explaining the unexpected move Raj said – “This should not be taken as a betrayal by my faithful ‘Vandyas‘…” (‘Vandyas‘ as in ‘Bandyas turned vandalizers’), as I want to defeat the enemy in his own territory. I will do more Bhojpuri films than Big B ever did and show the north Indians that if there is a will, even a Marathi can play lead-role in films like ‘Sasura Bhaya Thaanedaar’ and ‘Preet ki khatiya mein jiyara ka takiya’. Then what is stopping these north Indian stars like Big B, SRK, Chiranjeevi and Kelly Dorji from contributing to the Marathi cinema?”

Sources claimed the deal is worth a whopping Rs. 20-Crores for 5 films, exclusive of the vandalism damages expected later, but as a close confidante of the luminous leader stated – ‘It’s not about money. It’s about mon-oos!’

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Raj Thakarey signs 5-film deal with Bhojpuri filmmaker

  1. Sushant

    Kaa ho Fizool saab, aap toh leney key liye utar gaye ho maidaan main!! loved it… And i score a gold on the first post of the blog… this will go down in history I am sure!!

    :-S

  2. This decision by RT (as Michael Jackson fondly called him!) has left all the political parties stunned. it is believed that this is a shrewd move by the Maharashtra New-construction Army (MNS) to foray into the Hindi-heartland, just like Thakur Amar Singh has tried to establish a foothold in Mumbai.

    BJP leader and cine star Shotgun Sinha even went ahead to allege that Raj was behind the banning of Ravi Kishan and Prabhuji Mithun Da’s movies by the Bihar and Jharkhand Motion Pictures Association (BJMPA), as this move would lead to a vacuum for good movies in the prosperous industry. On the other hand, MNS has vehemently denied this allegation by pointing out that BJMPA has ‘BJP’ embedded in it and so is clearly an ally of the Bharatiya Janta Party. [Shotgun is currently shooting for ‘Raja Thakur’ with Shakti Kapoor playing as his assistant in a fond reminiscence of the latter’s pivotal and trend-setting role in the 1990’s superhit ‘Raja Babu’!]

    In a related move, the self-declared politically neutral King Khan entered the political circus today. Khan has decided to lodge a case against Raj Thackeray saying that it was he who had popularized the name by his character named Raj in YashRaj’s cloned movies and MNS should not be allowed to encash his hard-earned mass appeal! Neither MNS nor YashRaj’s lesser known son Uday Chopra were available for comments.

    Finally, in an unanticipated development today, the Training & Placement In-charge of IT-BHU has invited Maharashtra New-construction Army (MNS) for recruiting the Civil Engineering students on campus. On being asked about what inspired him for such a bold move, the foresighted T&P In-charge described this as a natural outcome: “You see, the name ‘Maharashtra New-construction Army’ sounds more like the local construction contractors that we have around Banaras than a political party. Our hypothesis is that while the MNS party-workers will destroy public property, its own civil engineers will help bring in money by winning the repair tenders advertised by the government. Such synergistic activities are a must to revive the economy!”
    On being asked by this correspondent, most civil engineering students agreed that such exciting job-profiles would surely lure them to Civil Engineering than the dull software jobs currently being offered. [PTI reports that a similar invitation by the TPO, IT-BHU to the Al-Qaeda in 2001 was stopped by the intelligence agencies.]

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