Mumbai. 10 February 2009.
Cultural groups or Senas from all over country convened in the city yesterday to demand the “absolute removal” of 14th February as a “date, day, or number” from Indian calendars. The much-anticipated demand was put forward by the latest poster-boy of hindu-male emancipation, ProMod Much-a-Lick, and was seconded by MNS Chief Raj Thakarey who added – “We can replace 14th February with a new date called Phod-Det (meaning blast-it), where we will have competitions like ‘Torch a state transport bus in 20-seconds’ or ‘Slap a girl, be a man!’. And of course, the names will be in Marathi.”
Though he failed to explain how these proposed activities on ‘Phod Det’ are any different from what they have been doing on the Valentine’s Day for the last few years, his cousin Udhhav justified that “if British can have hotels with no 13th floor, Hitler could live healthy with just one testicle, why can’t we have a February with no 14th day. And in any case, February already has 32 days. Or is it 33?”
In a related incident, another Congress senior expressed his love for Rahul Gandhi and nobody noticed.