CBI clean-chit to swines in swine-flu case

(Picture courtesy: film.org.au)

(Picture courtesy: film.org.au)

New Delhi. 30 April 2009.

As the swine-flu spreads across seven countries of Europe and Americas, CBI of India has given a hasty ‘clean-chit’ to swines of the world, irrespective of their nationalties. With this, CBI achieves a hattrick of clean-chits in a month which saw similar acquittals of Tytler, Sajjan, and Quattrochhi in cases dating back to pre-Google, post-Beatles years of the 80’s.

Explaining the 1084-page clean-chit submitted by the organization, a source reveals – “Of course, it took us 25-years or so in the other cases, but this time we were sure that swines were being framed without proper evidence. We all know birds fly, and swines not. So, how can you say ‘swine-flew’? Ridiculous.”

Always by his side

Always by his side

Though American media was rife with rumors of President Obama catching the notorious flu himself, his wife and First Lady Michelle Obama cleared the air by emphasizing that “he is not good at catching anything foreign, be it policy or flu.”

Meanwhile, Republicans have blamed Democrats’ liberal border policy for the latest flu-outbreak. “Had they sealed the Mexico border, we wud’ve no flu crossing over…ye!”, shouted an angry protestor outside Pentagon.

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5 Comments

Filed under Politics, Society

5 responses to “CBI clean-chit to swines in swine-flu case

  1. aha! You think pigs can’t fly?

    What about spider pig!!! 😉

    Also, your bit about the american right-wing blaming it on illegal immigrants – not so fake news, sadly. I wonder who will make these bigoted b*stards see the light.

  2. thedailytamasha

    I had a feeling that this won’t be too fake a news (flu-politics!)…and did a quick search too, but didn’t find much. Thanks for the pointer.

    And spider-pig!! haa haa…I suddenly got reminded of ‘Animal farm’…may be that too had an angle here. 🙂

  3. Sushant

    good one! well yet again 🙂

  4. jayashree

    Enjoyed reading it.Pigs have wings…..so said Wodehouse!
    My personal theory is..all the animals humans eat are revolting… cases in point-mad cow disease,avian flu, swine flu……. dont you see a pattern?
    Jayashree

  5. thedailytamasha

    @ Jayashree

    Haa haa…well said. Yes, they are revolting and it’s a bloody revolution for sure. So next in line, probably, is a Pomphret-enza or Lunatic-Prawn. 😛

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