Pratibha Patil Forgets She Is The President

I know who you are. Tell me who I am?

New Delhi. 6 June 2009.

President Pratibha Patil, probably due to lack of media attention or too much cricket, today forgot that she herself is the President of India. Addressing the joint session of newly constituted parliament, she started her lecture by saying – “Our dear President APJ Abdul Kalam is on his way, and till then, I have been instructed to hold the stage and indulge you.” When Lok Sabha speaker Meira Kumar gently reminded her that she herself is the President, Pratibha Patil smiled and said – “Nice joke.”

It took an assorted team of psychiatrists, news anchors, and ghost-mediums another 4-hours to convince her that she was ‘selected’ for the coveted post a couple of years ago. It was only after she was shown recorded footage of her swearing-in ceremony followed by an episode of Rakhi Sawant’s swayamvar did she believe that anything can happen in India.

Co-incidentally, out of 800-members of the two houses of parliament, at least 70 percent too didn’t know who this lady was. A tired looking first-time MP later confessed – “I am never attending President’s address again. This lady, she spoke for two hours and didn’t even sell anything in the end. And where was the President?” Another MP, a veteran, was more excited – “Was she…ohh…was she Pratibha Patil ji? Ohh…I should have looked up from my Mayapuri. They never show her on TV. I thought she was just a hoax…a real rubber-stamp!”