China Bans Public Urinals To Avoid Social Networking

History leaks into future

History leaks into future

Undisclosed Location. 13 June 2009.

Chinese Government, after banning You Tube, Flickr, and Twitter, has now taken ‘concrete’ steps to outlaw social networking as it existed in its most primitive form by putting an immediate ban on Public Urinals. A government website, accessible only to government officials still alive and not urinating publicly, today announced the latest development by sending a tweet, G-talk message, mail, SMS, audible shout to other government officials in other states. A mandarin from the Ministry of Health and Restrictions later confirmed that “all the public urinals will be shut down and dynamited with immediate effect. Social networking, especially when done while a liquid sensation is running through one’s body could be potentially harmful to the People’s Republic’s Republicity.”

A team of scientists, working directly under the Ministry of Science and Restrictions, has already got cracking at designing a single-use ‘Public Urinal Booth’ (PUB) – something which only one person can use on as-is-where-is-whatever-is basis. Such PUBs, adds a scientist, will “make sure that people mind their own business” while peeing. Another scientist, visibly excited with the new development, added – ‘We don’t mind a few bladder-bursts in the meantime. But we will make sure to come up with a single-use Urinal that keeps our sovereignty ahead of our loo-needs.’

Hu Scru Us?

Hu Scru Us?

Meanwhile, after the latest round of threats by officials to get Google banned in China, Google has shot back by threatening to remove the word “China” from its search engine.

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10 Comments

Filed under Media, Politics, Society

10 responses to “China Bans Public Urinals To Avoid Social Networking

  1. Nitin Goel

    lol!!!!!!! still laughing…thanks for this one

  2. well, people can still go to the Minnesota airport 😛

    /keep ’em coming!

  3. Vikash

    PUB, ministry of science & restrictions… and scientists’ excitement to design PUBs… hehe.. amusing all through… 😀

  4. Ruchika

    Google has shot back by threatening to remove the word “China” from its search engine.
    ROFL!!!!

  5. Google has shot back by threatening to remove the word “China” from its search engine. …. awesome

    Can’t ask about public opinion in China about PUB ? 😛

  6. as-is-where-is-whatever-is basis ! .. good one ..

    BTW some extension of your Google news snippet from my side !

    “China is keen on blocking Google as it feels Google’s name is having a very bad impact on its culture and tradition, as a massive rise in Ogling habit for teenagers has been reported. China feels it is because of Google, as it spells: ‘Go-Ogle’. It wants Google to change its name to wah-chi-shasha, which means ‘do not ogle’, or face a ban.

    Meanwhile, FSF (Frustrated Single Females) Association of China have come down heavily against this move by the government.”

    Hope you like it, some shuddh taza banarasi maal 🙂

  7. thedailytamasha

    @Sid

    हा हा हा….बनारसी माल काफी ‘मंटर’ है! लिखते रहिए. जैसे फिल्म के लास्ट में आजकल item song आता है, वैसे ही इन खबरों के अंत में आपकी विशेष टिप्पणी पैसा वसूल का feeling दे सकती है.

    वैसे मुझे wah-chi-shasha का sound अच्छा लगा. 🙂

  8. Luv Kothari

    LOL!!!

    My fav was “single-use ‘Public Urinal Booth’ (PUB) – something which only one person can use on as-is-where-is-whatever-is basis.”

  9. Tenam

    Made my day… bahut badiya… hahaha

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