Pakistan To Stone Twitter To Death

Trends change, people don't (Image Courtesy: Arrow, Dreamstime.com)

After ordering a televised beheading of Facebook, and cutting-into-pieces of Youtube two days ago, a local court today sentenced the social networking microblog Twitter to be stoned to death. The court, hearing an appeal from a group of Maulvis, who claimed following Laila (on Twitter) causes Laila (in Ocean), decided in favor of the group, ironically, minutes after installing the twitter client for i-phone on their China-made duplicates. By the way, China hailed Pakistan’s move and said, “Had Facebook been still around, we would have ‘LIKED’ Pakistan.”

The learned judge, Mustafa Mustafa, called the ruling “very progressive, as compared to Indian TV soaps”, while further explaining that he did take a “Facebook personality test two days ago” and found out that he “was Ultra-Paranoid! So I just acted on my personality type, and ordered a cleansing.”

Pakistani teenagers already depressed by the number of soft-porn, Bilawal Zardari screaming like mad, and random white/chinese kids pulling random cats’ tails videos they are going to miss after the death of Youtube and Facebook, went into further shock on realizing that they won’t be able to follow Amitabh Bacchhan’s inane tweets anymore.

Even Hell has no good usernames left (Image Courtesy: Daily Mail UK and EPA)

The stoning of Twitter will take place in Waziristan as soon as a suicide-mission-intern goofs up leaving the rest of the day uneventful.

Meanwhile, Yadav duo, Lalu Prasad and Mulayam Singh, today demanded 33 percent OBC quota in Cyclone names. “OBCs are highly under-represented in Cyclone names. Let the next one be called Rabri. Or Misa”, demanded Lalu Yadav outside parliament.


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5 Comments

Filed under Media, Society

5 responses to “Pakistan To Stone Twitter To Death

  1. The article was awesome, but the ‘meanwhile’ was even better. 🙂

  2. this is insane shit. HAAN MUJHE YE PASAND HAI.

  3. TwitsOMatic gives you all the tools you need to share, grow and manage your Twitter Network, is a complete marketing suite of tools to boost your sales, manage your brand and save your time.
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  4. amar khan

    bloody amazing who d hell has written this can i steal it as a short film concept..

  5. Icɦ will auch so bewandert sein, wie die die daѕ verfassen

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