Category Archives: Cinema

Man Can’t Find His Brain He Left Behind While Going For A Bollywood Film

Suspected: Brain ran away to save its life (Image Courtesy: neurosurgery.ufl.edu)

Saharanpur. 14 May 2010.

Saroja Singh didn’t bargain for this. He left his home an evening, mid-week, to unwind and go watch a Bollywood film (“Housefull”) at a nearby theatre, only to return home and find his brain missing. “I had left it in my cupboard. Or may be on the desk. I can’t seem to remember now, as the bloody thing had all my memory too”, Saroja told shocked investigators at his house. “I remember only this much, and that too because the fact has been nailed in my skin for years, that I had left my brain at home on the filmmaker’s advise. But now, I just can’t find it”, he added.

Saharanpur SSP, DK Kharbanda said such incidents are on a rise off-late, as “the word gets around.” He cautioned the citizens to “not leave it in open, at home. Either chain it, put it under a lock, or as I do, carry it in an ice-box to the theatre itself. You might need it in the interval for deciding which, out of the 87  flavors, of the popcorn available you would like to have.”

Are your brains ready? (Image Courtesy: Roshans)

The mysterious brain-thief has left no clue, and Saroja Singh’s biggest worry is how will he go to watch next week’s release ‘Kites’ now, without preceding it with the mandatory ritual of ‘ejecting the brain’ at home.”These are terrible times. I hope Prime Minister does something about it soon”, he said with a sad hope in his eyes.

Meanwhile, “Housefull” director Sajid Khan’s next film, yet unplanned, unwritten, has already grossed over 200 Crores in box-office collections worldwide.

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FWD: MUSSST SEEEEE…. Plssssssssss…..MUSSTTTT SEEEE

A True Story

John was a regular 20-year old. Full of life, love, and rosy dreams. He loved Kathy who lived across the John Woo street. John would take her to see the sunset and she would ask him ‘You really love me? Please tell me you will never leave me.’ It was a love blessed by angels.

But one fine day, evil struck. John, who was a poor newspaper boy,  was hit by a milk wagon. His legs were chopped by the doctor. He could not walk anymore. Kathy got the news and she came running to the hospital. But John was gone. He had left, without a message. Kathy cried and cried, asked many people, but John was untraceable. She knew he didn’t want to be a burden on her for the rest of life and that’s why he left.

*********************

This is a true story. This could happen to you. But God is great. God loves you. So please pass this photo and message of our God Raj Hirani to 100 people in the next 15-minutes and a miracle will happen.

Note: A man in Washigton passed this message to 100 people and within a week, he won a Nobel Prize. Another man in Hyderabad ignored this message, and within a week, he got deprived of all the women he was getting for 40-years.

Choice is yours. Aal Izz Well.

Original Copy

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Obama, Mamta and Advani Star in 2009 Summer Releases

Mumbai/ Los Angeles. 23 June 2009.

Hollywood and Bollywood’s 2009 Summer looks hotter than ever with some of the most entertaining and daring superstars coming together for some of the most awaited releases of the year. Here’s the list:

1. Good Reason Hunting: A BJP-RSS co-production, starring yesteryear superstars LK Advani and Rajnath Singh, with Varun Gandhi, Arun Jaitley, Venkaiah Naidu and Sudheendra Kulkarni in supporting roles.

Earlier titled - Lust, Caution

2. Gulaal-Garh: An Indo-China Co-Production, this one is the much-awaited sequel to ‘The Thin Red Line For Thick-Skinned Oldies’.

Earlier titled - 'Laal Dupatta Malmal Ka'

3. Dare You Fly Over Cuckoo’s Nest: The debut venture of mild-man Obama, this one is an action thriller with some spine-chilling stunts and a blink-and-miss appearance by a house fly.

Who doesn't love flying?

Yes, you can!

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Freida Pinto Giggles At 12:34 PM

The giggle that shook the world

The giggle that shook the world

Los Angeles. 9 June 2009.

Freida Pinto, the phenomenal Latika from Danny Boyle’s seminal ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, today giggled at 12:34 p.m. on 23rd and 5th square of downtown LA. Reports suggest that it’s the first time in the history of Hollywood that a foreign-born Golden Globe Winner has giggled at that combination of time and location. In fact, Steven Spielberg was so impressed with the new development that he immediately signed Ms. Pinto for a leading role in his forthcoming flick ‘Jurassocaust’, the story of a dinosaur caught in a Nazi concentration camp during World War 2.

'Brinjal-Dena'

'Brinjal-Dena'

Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie dismissed Freida Pinto as a ‘media hype’ in a private SMS she sent to Brad Pitt. Sources confirmed that Brad Pitt SMSed Angie back saying – “Let’s stay pure. Adopt Rubina?”

Closer home, in Mumbai, Multiplex-Producer rift and Bollywood strike finally ended with both sides unable to find a single point of difference even after two months. “Since we can’t disagree. Let’s agree…”, said Producers’ representative Mukesh Bhatt.

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SRK, Amir Support As Multiplex Popcorn Sellers Go On Strike Too

Pop it again...

Pop it again...

Mumbai. 29 May 2009.

In another blow to the ongoing multiplex-producer stand-off, Popcorn Sellers Union Of India (Caramel and Cheese Included) today went on an ‘indefinite strike’ owing to current profit-sharing system in place.”We are making more money for Multiplexes than those Akshay Kumar duds like “CC2C” or “Tasveer Eighty”, and we get no profit share?” lamented Raja Singh Chandel, President of PSUI (CCI) in a press statement. Though Multiplex Owners Association could not be contacted for a comment, a reliable source confirmed that “the development (sic) may force Lalit Modi into organizing two more IPLs this year, with cheerleaders munching the popcorn strategically in strategy breaks”.

Popcorn industry, estimated to be Rs. 400-Crore big, has been going through a low-phase since new-age filmmakers like Anurag Kashyap and Murugadoss arrived on scene. Noted Psychologist, Dr. Indira Verma, insists that “more the violence, sex, politics, or memory loss in a film, lesser is the viewer’s desire to eat something, especially feel-good things like popcorn or Kismi toffee bar. That’s why we don’t see Kismi in the markets anymore.”

You look kkrushed!

You look kkrushed!

Meanwhile Popcorn Sellers Union of India (Caramel and Cheese Included) got a much-needed voice of support from Amir Khan who promised “to speak to Shahrukh, arrange a press-meet, and then remain silent so that Shahrukh could do all the talking and I could retain my serious image.” Shahrukh, on the other hand, seemed much more enthusiastic to support Popcorn-strikers and issued a statement saying “Hell, I have supported KKR. This can’t be worse!”

In a related development (sic), Multiplex owners have decided to extend their strike till year 2025 as by then, they will be “more clear in terms of what our demands are.”

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