Pakistan Hurt At ‘Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’ Snub Now

Pakistan's Meera, missing from 'Mile Sur' video

Islamabad. 27 January 2010.

With the hurt of IPL-snub still fresh, Pakistani glitterati, sport-stars, and ex-army chiefs were shocked to find that the new video for India’s national integration song ‘Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’ didn’t feature a single Pakistani – dead or alive.”This is the stuff great insults are made of”, said an official press release from Pakistan’s External Affairs (East-Side)  ministry.

The strongly-worded press note, printed on the back-side of India’s 26/11 dossier, went on to blame India for “this well-planned conspiracy.” An MEA spokesman, reading from the note, further added that -“if they had no intentions of involving any Pakistani in this video, why did they show so many Pakistanis in ‘Aman ki Asha’ then? Why did they casually show our ex-air chief in a ‘Save Girl Child’ campaign? This is a pin-holder in CBM balloon.”

The mood in Indian media was none different with many top opinion-makers including Suhel Seth and Madhu Kishwar coming out against this “obvious bias” by the ad agency that produced the video. “Shiamak Davar??!!”, screamed Suhel Seth, “What is he doing in the video? Couldn’t we have General Kiyani or Jemima Khan instead? Or Meera – she is a star at par with Deepika.” Seth’s co-panelist, Madhu Kishwar, was equally critical, and asked “If we can have the whole of Bollywood in IPL and the whole of Bollywood in ‘Mile sur’, then why is it wrong to demand Pakistan’s representation in both? What happened to celebrity-to-celebrity contact roadmap?”

Strong opinions, those

Indian minister and avid tweeter, Shashi Tharoor also called Pakistan’s hurt justified, and tweeted “whr is afridi zrdari amisha gul png? srk was good. salman ok. video good bt bad diplmacy. flying to vegas – life’s a gamble. @smkrishna #fun”.

Meanwhile, the latest leaks coming in from Pakistan suggest a strong diplomatic rebuttal. “We may issue a circular, barring all our diplomats from using Dabur Dant Manjan in the morning. See how Indian companies will suffer now!”, a source claimed.

Austere Indian Minister Quits ‘Paapad’, Drought-Hit Farmers Euphoric

International Austerity Conference at Taj Mansingh, New Delhi

New Delhi. 13 September, 2009.

In a rarest of rare case, an Indian Union Minister gave the much-publicized austerity-drive a huge fillip by quitting the Indian food accompaniment ‘paapad’ to show solidarity with the government’s drought-relief programs. “I can’t bring myself to have that paapad, especially when moong-daal, the basic ingredient of my favorite paapads, has taken the biggest hit this monsoon”, the Minister with Independent Portfolio, Kamal Nath Sharma said in an emotional press-briefing.

The hard-earned appreciation

He also displayed the ‘Certificate of Appreciation’ presented to him by AICC President Sonia Gandhi the night before, just after he finished his first meal in 40-years without paapad. “Sonia ji was very happy that I have taken such a huge step on my own,” said Kamal Nath Sharma.

Experts believe that Kamal Sharma’s bold move may have a cascading effect and many more ministers will follow soon with their own, even grander versions of, self-imposed restrictions. It’s worth noting that MOS, MEA Shashi Tharoor has already cut-down on his gymming hours and he doesn’t “do bench-press and leg-curls exercises” anymore.

The news has brought much joy among the farmers in drought-hit districts of Madhya Pradesh and Maharashtra. “We never thought The Government would care for us…but Kamal Sharma has proved us wrong, and how!”, said Bilaas Sarma, the sarpanch of Jilohi village in Chhindwara district. “In fact, we have decided to build his statue to show our gratitude. A location has been finalized, and expert sculptors from Lucknow have been contacted. And of course, he will be holding a ‘paapad’ in one hand and pointing the other towards horizon, indicating more paapads beyond the drought”, Bilaas Sarma added.

Lijjat Family, in happier times

Meanwhile, Indian Army has confirmed that the guerillas putting red-spray paints on Ladakhi rocks were NOT Chinese Armyperson. “They were Coca Cola advertisers!”, read a classified note doing the rounds.