Rs. 350 Crore Man-On-Horse Futuristic Statue In Mumbai To Guard All The Statues of India

The blueprint with some blue, green, yellow, and brown

Off-Mumbai-Coast, 30 August 2009.

In yet another master-stroke of futuristic planning, following the shut-down of dance bars and a laptop presentation for flooding, India’s financial capital today unveiled the blueprint of its most ambitious curves. Costing just Rs. 350 Crores (contrast this in the similar genre, which cost Rs. 50 Crores!), the Grand Statue of a “Man On Horse”  is expected to guard the ever-growing population of statues in the nation.

The menacing figure of an unshaven man atop a derby horse, claims State Home Minister – “will act as a deterrent to anybody thinking ill of more than 40-Lakh statues in the country, Mayawati’s not included.” Although the minister refused to divulge the details of how the statue will go about ‘protecting’ others of its clan, a highly-confidential report we have got access to confirms that the hi-tech statue may actually be invisible to the common public, just because it will be designed to think-and-act at the speed of light.

The report further suggests that the (“almost invisible”) statue may actually be used to fight swine-flu and bad-monsoon, incorporating the very complex STRING THEORY in its design. Quoting a top bureaucrat from the Man-On-Horse Committee, the report says – “We know all the strings of the world…and are very excited to use our string theory in such an ambitious project.”

Though the details are still vague, and the design almost a surreal reminder of our colorful culture, ‘Man On Horse’ is all set to be India’s answer to the western world’s greatest mascot – the McDonald’s man.

A planet orphaned....

Meanwhile, in a major space disaster, our planet Earth developed a snag today, losing all contacts with the almighty Chandrayaan 1. At the moment of last reports coming in, Earth seems to be lost in endless space, never to be found again.

Mayawati Wakes Up As A Statue

Real Behen ji...Please Stand-up (Pic courtesy: Guardian.co.uk)

Lucknow. 16 June 2009.

Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister (Behen Kumari) Mayawati today woke up as a Marble-mixed-P.O.P. statue at her Golf Club Road bungalow. Doctors and State Parks and Statues Minister Santram Srivastava were immediately rushed to the site of Mayawati’s now-statued posture. Initial reports suggest that Mayawati’s stiffened posture resembles Britney Spears’ famous ‘Gimme More’ pose with one hand on an imaginary microphone and another on her pelvis. Though some other reports are suggesting a more nuanced and sophisticated Gabbar Singh pose from Sholay, as if asking ‘Kitne statue they?’

Incidentally, her last words the night before her marblization were – “Enough with my statues! I don’t want to look self-important anymore. Let’s build a 200-ft statue of my leather bag.”  Dr. Sudhir Verma, Sr. Psychiatrist at city’s Dr. Shyamaprasad Mukherjee Municipal Hospital pointed that “obsession turning into reality can’t be denied. Though she may be acting as a ‘naatakbaaz’ here to get more attention.”

That faraway look

Meanwhile, State Marble and Plaster of Paris Supplies Minister Ashok Kumar has checked and confirmed that the “quality of material in Behenji’s new avatar is good enough to be installed as a statue in the state capital.  If only Behenji could speak up and tell, where to install!”