World Awed As Apple Launches Something Good-looking

Found in a bar (Pic Courtesy: matthewktabor.com)

San Fransisco. 07 June 2010.

In a much anticipated and fanatically followed ceremony, Apple CEO Steve Jobs launched something very sleek, good looking, and fantastically white. Technology website reporters, business journalists, bored-but-there executives, over-informed teenagers, and clueless passers-by waited for hours, not because Jobs was late but, to feel good about themselves, as the keynote started.

“Stop me, if you have already seen this”, he started his speech with, and had to contend with raised hands, mostly from Gizmodo subscribers, every few seconds. He then apologized and changed his first line to, “Stop me if you really think you can get alive out of here after doing so”, which resulted in putting the focus back on the good looking thing he was unveiling. The 90-minute mindfuckingly unbelievable presentation showed the good-looking thing in various good-looking angles with Steve Jobs’ good-sounding voice-over explaining the good looks.

Hypenating good-looking

Sandman Hurst, 36, the leading tech expert for a very big tech magazine in a very big country live-blogged enthusiastically, calling the launch “one of the most awaited days” of his life. Hurst would have added more but then he had to get back to his job and “work my ass-off at my blood sucking company so that I could buy the good looking thing sometime in the coming decade.”

Youngsters from around the world held their breath before, and hugged each other after, the launch, to claim that they belonged. “I can’t tell you how thrilled I am. I didn’t sleep for the last 2 weeks – I don’t know why – but it all seems worth it now!”, said Neil Simon, 22.

If Apple insiders are to be believed, the company is working on a new-range of somethings to be launched sometime soon, if not sometime later.

Meanwhile in India, 1984’s Bhopal Gas Tragedy case verdict is out, giving TV news channels another much-needed opportunity to call panel discussions where everybody is agreeing with the anchor.

(Idea Courtesy: Onion’s ‘Something Happened Somewhere’ video story)

http://www.csmonitor.com/Innovation/Horizons/2010/0429/Jon-Stewart-skewers-Apple-over-iPhone-4G-debacle

Freida Pinto Giggles At 12:34 PM

The giggle that shook the world

Los Angeles. 9 June 2009.

Freida Pinto, the phenomenal Latika from Danny Boyle’s seminal ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, today giggled at 12:34 p.m. on 23rd and 5th square of downtown LA. Reports suggest that it’s the first time in the history of Hollywood that a foreign-born Golden Globe Winner has giggled at that combination of time and location. In fact, Steven Spielberg was so impressed with the new development that he immediately signed Ms. Pinto for a leading role in his forthcoming flick ‘Jurassocaust’, the story of a dinosaur caught in a Nazi concentration camp during World War 2.

'Brinjal-Dena'

Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie dismissed Freida Pinto as a ‘media hype’ in a private SMS she sent to Brad Pitt. Sources confirmed that Brad Pitt SMSed Angie back saying – “Let’s stay pure. Adopt Rubina?”

Closer home, in Mumbai, Multiplex-Producer rift and Bollywood strike finally ended with both sides unable to find a single point of difference even after two months. “Since we can’t disagree. Let’s agree…”, said Producers’ representative Mukesh Bhatt.