Man Can’t Find His Brain He Left Behind While Going For A Bollywood Film

Suspected: Brain ran away to save its life (Image Courtesy: neurosurgery.ufl.edu)

Saharanpur. 14 May 2010.

Saroja Singh didn’t bargain for this. He left his home an evening, mid-week, to unwind and go watch a Bollywood film (“Housefull”) at a nearby theatre, only to return home and find his brain missing. “I had left it in my cupboard. Or may be on the desk. I can’t seem to remember now, as the bloody thing had all my memory too”, Saroja told shocked investigators at his house. “I remember only this much, and that too because the fact has been nailed in my skin for years, that I had left my brain at home on the filmmaker’s advise. But now, I just can’t find it”, he added.

Saharanpur SSP, DK Kharbanda said such incidents are on a rise off-late, as “the word gets around.” He cautioned the citizens to “not leave it in open, at home. Either chain it, put it under a lock, or as I do, carry it in an ice-box to the theatre itself. You might need it in the interval for deciding which, out of the 87  flavors, of the popcorn available you would like to have.”

Are your brains ready? (Image Courtesy: Roshans)

The mysterious brain-thief has left no clue, and Saroja Singh’s biggest worry is how will he go to watch next week’s release ‘Kites’ now, without preceding it with the mandatory ritual of ‘ejecting the brain’ at home.”These are terrible times. I hope Prime Minister does something about it soon”, he said with a sad hope in his eyes.

Meanwhile, “Housefull” director Sajid Khan’s next film, yet unplanned, unwritten, has already grossed over 200 Crores in box-office collections worldwide.

Bachchan family to visit Mars for ‘Nava-Griha Pooja’. SRK to follow.

Mumbai. 6 February 2008.

Amidst conflicting reports of ‘Aishwarya looking pregnant’ and ‘Aishwarya looking leaner’, Bollywood’s first family decided to make their long-awaited trip to Planet Mars for the all-important Nava-Griha Pooja. As reported constantly, Bachchan family has bypassed more than 1000 temple darshan queues and consumed more than 2000 Kilos of prasaadam in a bid to overpower Aishwarya’s plastic smile and steely Mangal.

The family, Amitabh, Jaya, Abhishek, Aishwarya, and Amar, will fly in a specially designed spaceship (designed by the brilliant Akhilesh Yadav, Mulayam Singh Yadav’s son) sometime in the summers of 2008, sources revealed. Though an official confirmation by the family spokesperson Amar Singh is yet awaited, the charming friend of Big B didn’t leave much to speculation when he was seen shopping for extra-large-sized hot-pants and leather-ganjis in friend-philosopher-financer Anil Ambani’s newly opened ‘Reliance Spaced Out Fresh’ outlets.

NASA experts and tarot card readers also agree that the best time to visit Mars is between June and September, as then, the planet is in a “good mood”. Although sources close to the family have denied that the visit is a knee-jerk reaction to Raj Thakarey’s demands of ‘North Indians Leave Mumbai’, Thakarey supporters are not far behind in asking – ‘Why there are no Marathis on board?’

In a related development, Bachchan’s professional heir Shahrukh Khan has started preparing for a similar flight to Mars. As part of a joint-venture with Balaji’s Ekta Kapoor, SRK is expected to host Bollywood’s first ‘Truly Universal Film Awards’ (TUFA), the first ever Bollywood awards function to be held at a venue outside Planet Earth. According to a closely-held-secret, the King of Hindi Cinema will not only host TUFA, but will also dance to his recent numbers and win the best actor award too.