Navjot Sidhu To Run Naked If Bharat Bandh Reverses Inflation

Naked is a tongue twister if said while running (Image: sulekha.com)

New Delhi. 5 July 2010.

Apparently inspired by a Paraguayan model, ex-cricketer and BJP MP Navjot Singh Sidhu today claimed that he will run naked through the streets of New Delhi if opposition-sponsored Bharat Bandh manages to reverse the price rise. Speaking to the local media on the eve of opposition’s biggest combined jab at govt. policies in UPA’s second term, Sidhu said – “Guru…the nude is condemned to never being naked. The man who runs is always the man who wears the shoes. And lastly, inflation is, what inflation does.” Soon after, BJP spokesperson Ravi Shankar Prasad decoded the lines for everybody, to send shock-waves in random directions.

If Paraguay had won, inflation would have run (Image: rediff.com)

“Tomato is so expensive now that I’d rather put petrol in my daal-fry”, said Rajesh Tiwari, a common common-man from Kanpur, “but after this news, I am not sure I would like to have daal-fry ever.” Unsurprisingly, many ‘first reactions’ ranged from “I hope not” to “Why Sidhhu, why not KPS Gill?”. But there was support for the daring MP from some quarters, including from his fans of the hit TV show ‘Laughter Challenge’ where he appeared as a laugh-track. “Sidhu paa ji is just great. We can’t stop laughing when he can’t stop laughing. I wish him all the best for this naked run”, said avid TV viewer Sunny Lokhande from Nagpur.

Abundance of potatoes (Image: sulekha.com)

Sidhu’s announcement, though, has not got ruling UPA worried. “For one, inflation is going up, so the man won’t get a chance”, said Congress spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi. He believed that Bharat Bandh “only managed to help UPA as most of the Metros enjoyed a long weekend and blessed UPA for the holiday. In fact, we are thinking of having a central govt. sponsored Bharat Bandh every alternate month, so that all the accompanying surprises and violence could be better organized, and if possible, marketed. Think of the possibility of a reality show – Bharat Bandh Mein Nach Baliye, and many more.”

Meanwhile, after an exhausting, angry, boring, and hectic day at Bharat Bandh, BJP looks forward to another 8-years of exciting in-fighting, high-adrenalin chintan baithaks, and occassional but high-powered sex-tapes.

Obama, Mamta and Advani Star in 2009 Summer Releases

Mumbai/ Los Angeles. 23 June 2009.

Hollywood and Bollywood’s 2009 Summer looks hotter than ever with some of the most entertaining and daring superstars coming together for some of the most awaited releases of the year. Here’s the list:

1. Good Reason Hunting: A BJP-RSS co-production, starring yesteryear superstars LK Advani and Rajnath Singh, with Varun Gandhi, Arun Jaitley, Venkaiah Naidu and Sudheendra Kulkarni in supporting roles.

2. Gulaal-Garh: An Indo-China Co-Production, this one is the much-awaited sequel to ‘The Thin Red Line For Thick-Skinned Oldies’.

3. Dare You Fly Over Cuckoo’s Nest: The debut venture of mild-man Obama, this one is an action thriller with some spine-chilling stunts and a blink-and-miss appearance by a house fly.

Zoozoo mania: Advani promises more Zoozoos, Rahul Gandhi claims Zoozoos are Gandhis

Easy Icons (Pic Courtesy: Vodafone)

New Delhi. 06 May 2009.

As reports of four Zoozoos being kidnapped from a Mumbai studio remain unconfirmed, BJP’s PM candidate LK Advani today promised “more Zoozoos” if elected to power. Speaking at an election rally in Nainital in Uttaranchal, Advani waved a Zoozoo poster as he told the waiting crowd – “People say we don’t have election issues this time round. People say we don’t have a promise of hope and change like Mr. Oh-Bhama had. I say, we have Zoozoo…and our government will make sure we have a Zoozoo for every Indian, Uma Bharti included. ” At another election rally in the nearby village of Kumdi, Advani even convinced party leader Mr. Venkaiah Naidu to dress-up in a Zoozoo suit but unfortunately his legs were too thick to slip into.

Not one to be left behind, Congress hope Rahul Gandhi too called a special press conference and smiled for ten minutes. As a parting note, he told the gathering that “Zoozoos are Gandhis and there is no doubt about that.” Explaining his claim, he added – “Look at the crazy fan-following….look at their gibberish talks, and how can you miss their cute blunders!”

Khooni Tantrik

Meanwhile in Mumbai, PETA roped in yesteryear’s film-star and “Son-of-Dracula” Joginder in a campaign to “Save Zoozoos” from exploitation in TV Ads. PETA spokesperson in India, Alissa Beafcake, expressed her joy at “getting Joginder in, especially since after Sherlyn Chopra, we were running out of celebrities supporting our cause.”